Possible.

I wrote this blog on June 8, 2007. I read it and it inspired me again – to apply this to even more areas of my life as far as career and goals. I hope it inspires you too.

I was getting to a point where I really didn’t think it was going to happen. I’ve been through so much crap in my life with guys, actually..let me rephrase that. I’ve PUT MYSELF through so much crap with guys that I was getting very comfortable with being single forever. As cliche as it sounds, things really DO happen when you VERY least expect it. I constantly shake my head in disbelief when I think about this incredible person who has entered my life. I think what’s truly incredible…is not just that he’s an amazing person, but the amazing bond we’ve created in such a short amount of time. I know, I know…most people are going to doubt this and think that I am living in the clouds. But unless you’ve experienced something like this in YOUR life…..you can’t really knock it til you try it. I am an extremely skeptical person and will always be. It takes A LOT to get me to believe and trust in things. What’s happening in my life now is so honest, pure, magical and strong that I go crazy trying to figure it out. Of course I pushed it away in the beginning….because it seemed too good to be true. I am realizing now that unless we believe that we deserve things that are too good to be true, we’ll never receive them. I think my reason for writing this blog is to reach out to everyone who thinks that they’ll never find love. I know that I’ve only found it because I FINALLY began to love myself completely and open myself to love. Maybe it was around me my entire life but I was probably subconsciously blocking it. What’s happening to me now is not saving me….I have saved myself. What’s happening to me now is adding to all of the things I’ve wanted to express for so long. What’s happening to me is allowing me to discover all the things that maybe I’ve been hiding for so long. I really never, ever, EVER thought I would find somebody like him which tells me that ANYTHING is possible. It may have taken a while…but it was definitely worth the wait….it couldn’t have happened at a more perfect time.

Day after Thanksgiving

I’m bored! It’s crazy that the one day I am (sort of) free and not busy with school or work, all of my friends and boyfriend are either at work, sick or in another city. BOLLOCKS! Oh well. At least I got in a lot of good cleaning and organizing in today. I also put my Xmas lights up, so there’s another accomplishment, even though it took like ten minutes. Of course, I could be working on my screenplay or radio show, but I choose to feel bored since its a holiday weekend and I feel I should be doing something semi-festive. I ate Maggiano’s Thanksgiving leftovers thrice today. Damn they’re good. I’m kinda giving myself an extended splurge, and I deserve it. Yesterday I did ten, yes TEN sets of the Santa Monica stairs up and down. That feeling is freaking amazing. I’m referring to when you feel like you’re going to lose your mind from exhausting your stamin to the max. It hurts when you’re doing it and you do see stars and birds, but damn its a strange high. The best high if you ask me. I love it and I’m addicted to it.

Alright, I’m going to go finish cleaning. Maybe this is my Karma, because I am always turning down invitations to go out with friends- so this is what I get! Damn.

Slim Pickins

I think I am becoming more and more closed. It’s hard these days to find people who actually want to listen to you. I feel that I’m an excellent listener, and I fully focus when somebody is seeking my help or advice. However, I don’t feel it reciprocated as much as I give it. Therefore, I’ve decided that I’m not going to try and express anything except to a couple people. It’s draining to give so much while forgetting to give back to yourself.

Something has shifted inside of me, and I am trying to figure out why. I am truly looking forward to the next big POSITIVE shift. It’s not the best of times for me right now, but I MUST continue to be grateful for the extreme amount of LOVE I have around me which means more to me than anything. I know this is a phase and I am going to just ride it out. It’s kind of like holding on to the doorway during an earthquake. It will pass.

So my writing teacher said…

that to become a great writer the first step is to write everyday. Well, I don’t even know if I want to become a great writer let alone a writer, but I’m going to experiment with this idea nonetheless. So, everyday I am going to write about anything that comes to mind. I guess that’s the point of a blog anyhow. I got to put this dusty old thing to use someday (the blog is what I was referring to). All I can think about right now is how horridly awful my dog’s pee pad smells. Dog urine has got to be one of the most god-awful stenches in the history of this planet. It’s not just a bad smell, but an irritating smell, the kind that you just get pissed about because it’s that bad. So now that I have made the stink even clearer to my nose by describing it in detail, I must go clean it up b/c I wanna gag. Okay, that’s done. Now I can sleep at night. Febreeze works wonders.

So, I am just FINALLY getting past a super bad head cold. I really never stay sick for this long, I guess it was pretty bad. I found some amoxycillin in the cupboard so I just started taking it because I was desperate to kill whatever bug was eating me inside. That sounds pretty gross. What is up with all the gross references I’m making in this blog so far? Now no one’s gonna want to read my blog and I’ll probably lose the 4 views per day I currently have. Man, 4 views per day? What the hell is up with that, I am way more interesting than only 4 viewers a day. Oh well. I should value my privacy and being unknown now since that will all change in the near future. I can just imagine when I’ll be saying “Man, I remember when nobody even read my blog, now how I yearn to go into a Starbucks without people recognizing me”. Yah, so I should definitely enjoy these precious moments.

Hmm. What else to talk about. The other day I felt kinda fired up to write some good blogs but I think I missed my window. I gotta start jumping on these moments of inspiration to write. Well, I guess that’s what this experiment is going to lend itself to. Lots more rambling about nothing! Haha. Today was fun, Sean and I went to a Brazilian Festival down at the LA Brea Tarpits. It was pretty awesome, we got there for the last hour and didn’t have to wait too long in lines for food. The food was incredible as well. We had two empanada type things – one with ground beef and one was more like a pot pie with stewed chicken and veggies. Pretty to die for. Then we also got a plate with two steak skewers (really good steak) that came with rice, black beans, and this amazing salsa. The highlight of the festival for me was the live samba drummers. Samba is incredible. I really wanna learn how to move my hips and feet so fast like they do. The energy of the Samba drums was amazing- and being right in front of them was even better. They had the whole crowd dancing and having a great time. The other day we went to a Greek Festival which was awesome as well. Amazing food, music and fun. I’m starting to get into these festivals, I want to go to as many different ones I can.

Alright, I think it’s that time where I sign off now, I can’t think of anything else funny to say which means I’m running out of gas. Tomorrow is going to be a power-day- lots to do and lots to feel proud of when I get it all done. All part of the plan.

On the set of “Chance of Showers”

This past weekend I was part of a production called “Chance of Showers”, produced/directed by David Spiegelman, starring Robert Keith and Rachel Boston. It’s a short film and I was the Artistic Director/Choreographer for the dance scene which was an adaptation of Gene Kelly’s “Singing in the Rain”. Such an honor to help recreate this classic scene and be a part of this film. I had alot of fun and the cast and crew were awesome! Check out some of the pictures below (taken from blackberry-not the greatest, but decent) on set on the Universal lot.

Going wild in the wilderness

So I never really considered myself one of those “outdoorsy” types of people.  I never went on camping trips with my family to Dana Point or Lake Havasu and did that whole thing.  I used to hear the kids in my class share about it and I never really understood it.  I was just used to going on cruise ships to Nassau and Maui.  I guess I was pretty lucky as a teenager. Anyhow, lately I’ve really been getting into this nature thing- going on hikes and such.  Yesterday Seannie and I conquered the Temescal Canyon hike in the Palisades.  So far we’ve done Griffith, Runyon and Fryman – and this one was definitely the most wilderness-y. I’m pretty freakin proud of myself being that a year ago I was in about 3 casts, 2 walking boots and had gone under the knife 3 times.  I didn’t think I’d be able to use my feet as liberally this soon- so it feels pretty damn amazing.  Even more amazing (I sound like the electrolux commercial) is that we pretty much ran up the whole hill except for when there were staggery areas with alot of rocks that we could easily sprain our ankles on.  It feels pretty badass when you’re charging up the hill and passing the walkers. Not to downplay them at all b/c anybody hiking should get props- but adding that extra punch definitely makes you feel like a warrior. I am pretty jealous of those walking sticks- at first I thought they were pretty silly and useless- but as I was quivering down the steep part like a straight wuss on the decline- one of those would’ve come in quite handy. 

We’d never gone on this hike so we had NO  idea where the top was or how close we even were. At one point it gets suuuuper narrow and a machete would’ve been awesome to whack away all those plants and scare away the bees.  Right after that sketchy part I almost wanted to stop there, but then I saw a large lizard in the middle of the path.  He looked me right in the eye as if to say “you are almost there, just keep going”.  So we listened the lizard and low and behold he (possibly she) was right, it was just a couple more steps to the peak of the mountain. It’s amazing when you reach the top, because when you’re at the bottom the top seems ridiculously far away. Ab0ut 2/3 the way up there’s an awesome waterfall that immediately made me think of the Goonies (my fave movie). I wanted to dig right into the stream, take a penny and say “this one right here! this was MY wish, MY dream! and nothin’s gonna take that away!” But I quickly snapped back into reality and realized that I couldn’t steal somebody else’s wish.

It’s definitely a hike you gotta allow time for, and it’s not your Hollywood-esque Runyon Canyon by any means.  You actually feel like you’re away from LA, which is awesome.  I love how the trees curl over and cover you.  At some parts it’s like you’re in an enchanted forest or in a movie, I love it.  I also love listening to people’s conversations when they’re hiking.  It seems like being in nature always brings people to have serious chats that they wouldn’t talk about in other environments. 

I guess the smart thing woulda been to take some awesome pix so I can post them on this blog.  For now I’ll just post some generic pix to accesorize but next time I’ll def bring my camera so y’all know I’m not just making this up. Overall highly reccomended- there’s something about hiking and excersise in general that just clears your mind, gives you energy and brings a natural high that isn’t found anywhere else.

Zappo Day

So I guess I’m breaking the “blog-code” by not really posting that much. What’s the use of having a blog when you don’t even update it? I think I’ve taken the easy route by micro-blogging through twitter. Since that’s psuedo-lazy (or rather efficient, depends how you look at it) here I am again to update all 5 or 6 of you on my exciting life.  Okay let’s get this amazing bit of information out first and foremost I am HEALED!!! I know this is the 2nd time I’m stating these words, but this time is MUCH different. Whoa, I just got a flashback- I sound like I”m talking about all the guys I would meet in my younger years. I’d say pretty much the same thing. “No, this time I really feel it, we just have this– vibe….” So because of my miraculous foot physician Dr. Zeetser, my foot is in excellent health and I am doing things I couldn’t even imagine 3 months ago. Well I could imagine it, I just wasn’t doing it.  I am proud to say that I am on Day 64 of INSANITY, the extremely strenuous workout program by Shaun T and BeachBody.  However, that’s going to be a whole ‘nother blog in itself so I”ll save my words for that one when I get to it.  Today I got my brand new Asics Gel Nimbus 11′s from Zappos!!

It’s always exciting getting things in the mail.  Call me crazy- but I am a little neurotic when it comes to well, everything.  My regular shoe size is 7, but when I tried on some Asics at Foot Locker they felt kinda snug.  So when I ordered from Zappos I went for the 7.5s.  Today of course they came and I’m thinking they are too big, so I drive all the way down to Burbank (I’m making it sound like I had to drive to Temecula or something) to try on the 7s at Sport Chalet just to make sure they really didn’t fit. Yes, you guessed it, they still didn’t fit just the way they didn’t the first time I tried them on at Foot Locker. So therefore, I was assured that the 7.5s were the right choice. So I go home and stick those suckers on and get into some Insanity Cardio Max Interval Training madness.  What fun. Now it’s nearly 445 am and I’m still up writing this nonsense blog about my shoe frenzy.  I wanted to write some more interesting stuff but now I’m getting quite lazy and should really hit the sac. Hopefully I won’t have a strange dream tonite where I’m talking somebody out of stealing something from me.  What’s the deal with me negotiating my way out of extreme situations in my dreams these days? Anybody know what those mean? Audi 5-thou world. (aka 5-6 people)